Christmas Poem 2012 "End of the World Edition"

Latest version of my non winning Christmas poem entry.

Creepy Christmas Sock Monkeys waiting for Santa

It’s raining outside and the Benz looks like crap.

The noise from the radio's Jingle Bells Rap.

You beat up some kook in an S.O.A. tee,

...drive home from the park with a freshly chopped tree.

The wife’s on her iPad doing live request cam,

you head for the market to steal a fat ham.

Your phone starts to buzz as you head out the door.

The In-laws again, they’re looking to score.

Christmas will be here in just one more night,

bring ’em a bottle they’ll stay out of sight.

The kids left last Friday to go out and play,

they always come home for the big holiday.

You pass by a church and think about mass,

but you know ol' Santa don’t give a rat’s ass.

Arrive at a mall where the parking lot’s packed,

the really good cars have already been jacked.

The soon bankrupt Center’s a mile away.

You snag a good space it might be your day.

In front of the Wet Seal you hear a loud sound.

The cops have your daughter hog-tied on the ground.

You duck into Nordstrom before you are seen,

They won’t keep her long she’s only fourteen.

Searching and searching you snag the right gift.

The guard’s been on Facebook most of his shift.

Slip out the back door and into the cold.

Shoplifting's easy when you start to look old.

It’s now Christmas morning and everyone’s here,

They’re fighting and drinking your holiday cheer.

Your friends and your family can’t wreck your yuletide.

To hell with them all just go for a ride!

B.Law